“I need to learn to work with people who disrespect me”

The above words came out of my mouth the other night as I was unloading after a particularly stressful day in the office. They were followed by this:

I feel like my need for respect is holding me back. As a woman, it’s inevitable that sometimes I’ll have colleagues who disrespect me. At the moment I get really tense when I don’t feel respected, and I feel like that could be hurting my career. After all, I have to work with these people, and they’ll never respect me anyway. Being assertive to them will just make me seem like a bitch.

Not sure if internalising misogyny or being internalised by misogyny